Weeks turned to months, and he didn’t return my emails. I had no phone number. He didn’t have a Facebook account that I could find. I didn’t even know if his name was real. He was off the grid. I was pissed. Leo Durocher once said “Nice guys finish last”. Truer words were never spoken.
I decided to use this “internet” thing that everybody always talks about. I grew out my mustache and turned into Magnum PI. After my refined stalking skills got elbow grease all over my keyboard, I finally found out where he worked.
"Dan, please teach me how to grow that."
I took a little drive to the coffee shop where he was happily slinging lattes. He nearly filled his pants with pudding when he saw my face. The first thing he said was “uhhh, wow, I can’t believe you’re here… it’s.. um…. amazing.” He stuttered and stammered through a boatload of excuses that included but were not limited to:
“I tried emailing you… you didn’t get them?!”
“I lost my password and couldn’t get into my computer to find your contact info!”
And my personal favorite: “I thought since I didn’t hear from you, you were just going to give it to me for free!”
After trying very unsuccessfully to show me the magical emails on his phone and laptop that somehow never made it to my inbox, he asked if I wanted to follow him to the bank. We drove a mile down the road, and he paid the $300, as well as a voluntary $50 interest fee because he was “embarrassed”.
It all worked out in the end thanks to my sleuth skills. And for my Captain Obvious advice of the day; never trust anybody on Craigslist.
And just to make you smile, HERE is the 20 Most Bizzarre Craigslist Adverts of All Time”. My personal favorite is the free couch you can get if you’re able to bend time and/or space.